A Day of Highs and Lows

 

After appealing my denied food stamp application three times, I finally received the news that it’s been overturned—I’ve been approved! Thank you, Yeshua! This is a blessing beyond belief, and I am incredibly grateful. Now, I’ll be able to buy healthier food—like seafood, beef, and fresh produce—that I’ve truly been missing.

With this new opportunity, I’m determined to start eating healthier. I’ve been really disappointed with the amount of weight I’ve gained since my radical hysterectomy. But I also understand that the major life changes I’ve experienced over the past 18 months have played a big role. I’m learning to give myself grace, considering everything I’ve been through.

If I’m being honest, if my only addiction is food, I’m not doing too bad. God knows, sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to numb myself with something like alcohol or drugs instead of facing all of this head-on. But here I am, dealing with it the best I can— even when that includes the occasional pint of ice cream or apple fritter.

Being blessed with food stamps will definitely afford me the ability to make healthier choices. While I’m extremely grateful for the food pantry distributions, most of what they provide is processed food, which makes maintaining a healthy diet challenging. Now, I have the chance to nourish my body in ways I haven’t been able to for a long time—and that’s a gift I don’t take for granted.

Another bright spot today was seeing Marilyn after almost two weeks. It was really nice to catch up, and we had a great session. I shared my struggles with insomnia—how I’ve been unable to sleep at all lately—and she gave me some helpful tools to quiet my mind. I’m excited to try them and see if they help.

I was also blessed to be able to donate plasma successfully today. This allowed me to fill up my car with gas and purchase the vitamin D3 my doctor recently added to my healthcare plan.

But amidst these blessings, I also feel a heavy sadness about the looming federal government shutdown. There’s fear surrounding the Supreme Court’s upcoming decision on whether to uphold the ruling that could cut off funding to nonprofits. This is terrifying because, if the ruling isn’t upheld, shelters could close, advocates might lose their jobs, and many of us will be left without support. We’re even being told to prepare for the possibility of being back on the streets.

As frightening as that is, I’m holding on to my faith. I know without a doubt that my Abba will take care of us. He didn’t bring me this far just to leave me here—I believe that with every ounce of my heart.

Another unexpected blessing came when I visited the UPS store to renew my mailbox. Due to new government regulations under the Trump administration, they are now required to obtain several forms of identification. I was worried because I didn’t have all the necessary documents. But by the grace of our Father, the person helping me turned out to be the owner, Danny. I explained my situation, and he kindly told me not to worry—he’d override the requirement until I can get things sorted out. It was such a relief. Not only was he kind, but he’s also a fellow brother in Christ and he reminded me of Job’s story and encouraged me not to give up.

When I returned to the shelter, Monique asked to speak with me. She had some paperwork regarding possible dental care at no cost, which she wanted to share with me. I also took the opportunity to ask her thoughts on the government shutdown. Without hesitation, she said she’s not worried, and that gave me great relief. Considering the ups and downs I’ve had with the shelter and people not keeping their word, Monique has always been honest with me. I truly value her opinion, and it meant a lot that she was willing to share her feelings—it definitely lifted a burden off my heart.

In the end, today was a reminder that even in the midst of uncertainty and fear, blessings find their way to us. Faith keeps me grounded, and the kindness of others gives me strength.